The worst game you've ever played

[lividd3ad]

I don't know about anyone else, but I love bad games. Maybe not if I've been hyping up a game for months and spent £40 on it only to get home and find out that it's crap, but I gain a certain amount of joy from watching other people play bad games and even myself playing bad or weird games.

So I want to know, what's the worst game you've ever played?

[SNESmaster]

In collecting one system of games like I have, you're bound to run into a few. Here are some of the worst SNES titles I have played:
3 Ninjas Kick Back-High on my list so far. Impossible to control
The Addams Family-This had potential but Gomez's jumps are PAINFULLY short.
No Escape-May be tops on my list. It's only saving grace is that it's kinda rare.
Jim Power-Not as rare and maybe even worse then No Escape.

[Mass Distraction]

Here's my review of a game called Resident Evil: Missions. Enjoy.


Resident Evil: Missions

I can usually tolerate games that are considered "bad" but holy shit, this game must've been programmed by Satan himself to torture all the gamers and game developers in the deepest pits of Hell. Thankfully I paid nothing for this game (downloaded it free for my cell, sue me) and if I had, I would've propably demanded my money back for a faulty product.

The controls suck, which makes your character (Jill) run in a completely wrong direction half of the time. You press up, the game thinks about it for a second, starts moving left and ends up in a 360 running towards the enemies.

The stages are just horrible rips of the RPD rooms with crappy resolution. The camera never changes when you're in a room so you might just get stuck in the corner of a table even if there clearly was more room in the place and you have to go around it. Because of the horrifyingly bad resolution it's almost impossible to know where anything is and depth perception is pretty much non-existent, making it so that if you run to a door its actual location could be three feet away. Just where the wall should be.

The enemies have less intelligence than a mexican jumping bean, which pretty much means that you could be giving them a blowjob and be on with your life before they even realize anything happened. If you do, however, get grabbed by one of these things, you could just as well restart the level (though I don't see why you would do anything than just delete this game). There's no real explanation on how to escape the grasp of an enemy (believe me, I tried everything from single buttons to mashing them all to doing nothing) and getting away seems to be based on pure luck. In addition to the extremely braindead, there's Nemesis. He does run faster than you like he did in RE3 but more often than not he gets stuck in something or runs around in circles. One (and the only) funny moment happened when me (because of the controls), two zombies and Nemesis were all running around in pointless circles.

The gameplay, in addition to the controls, of this game is... I actually have no idea. The whole thing is based on missions (no real story there) that you do and you can actually choose paths in the mission menu. All of the stages are time based so you have to be quick if you want to survive. Actually you have to be precise to the very last second, which means it's trial and error which in turn means you'll be doing the same thing again and again, a lot. Like you wanted to, anyway. Seriously, no matter how fast you did everything, especially in the later levels, you'll always be on your last second when you finish. You do get a 5 second time bonus for killing a zombie but because of the absolutely ridiculous hit detection (if there even is any) it will take you about 10 bullets (which is pretty much all you'll find anyway) to kill one. All this took more than 10 seconds. I didn't even bother with the "knife only, kill everything" stages. Those also feature Nemesis, by the way.

The graphics are pain for your eyes. I'm no graphics whore, far from it, but these were the blockiest graphics I have ever seen and the polygon sprites had three frames of animation at best. I can see that they tried to export everything from the PS that they could on a cellular based platform but this only brings me to one question: why the fuck would you even try that?

This game was a complete fuckfest to beat. Yes, I beat the game... after having it for over a year on my cell, taunting me with its horribleness. It's one of my greatest achievements in the history of Resident Evil. There's still a dozen more paths to try but I would never even consider torturing myself like that. I'd rather have needles stuck to my eyeballs. If you're a complete masochist and love to play the shittiest games ever conceived by man, this is the one for you... or what the heck, who am I to say, this game could as well have been programmed by a bunch of trained rats.

Note, that this is only the first game in a series of five games total. Would I want to try the others in hopes it might get better? I'd rather get run over by a lawnmover. One of those five games is a 2D version of this same game, while the one I played is the 3D version. The rest are Stories, Operations and Episodes. God only knows why this pile of doodoo got made into a series, let alone had another version. Someone should have at least tested the game before it getting released and my condolences to the people who actually paid for this. In the end, this game is more like a test build of an alpha version of a tech demo.


You know what.... I take back what I said earlier. A bunch of trained rats could've done better.

[Mighty Jetters]

tbh I've never played a game I found to be actually bad, but the only thing that comes to mind atm is Gunstar Heroes (don't kill me if you like it). it just didn't hold my interest for some reason. it's all really blurry for some reason, but seeing how that was many years ago, I imagine I'd appreciate it a little more in today's age. I'll see though.

[BumblebeeCody*]

@Mass Distraction
I love your hate for Resident Evil missions! XD

Worst game I ever played was Rascal for the PS1. It sucked.

[Lexou Duck]

I played bible games

it's so unplayable that i was pissing myself laguhing the whole time

[Mass Distraction]

@Mass Distraction
I love your hate for Resident Evil missions! XD

I can't help it! That game is the bane of my existence :D

[Rainbow Pancake]

I gotta say, Beetle Juice for the NES was pretty awful

[Xannidel]

I am going to go with 3 different games, all on the SNES mind you.

1 Home Alone 2: This "platformer" game made no sense, the enemies were designed terribly. There was no real goal other then get to the other side of the level and you could sometimes go into shops or something like that but I could not beat it.

2 Clue: Based on the boar game but the A.I. cheated so blatantly that they could pick the killer out without guessing.

3 Mario is Missing: Do I really need to go into this title? An education video game that has only a FEW Mario sprites from Super Mario World I believe. The gameplay was shit with no tutorials. I don't even think Yoshi made traveling any faster.

[supersquid64]

My vote would have to be for Sonic Drift. As someone who isn't that keen on the Sonic franchise this made my skin boil whenever I played it, even as a joke.

The concept annoys me about it and the racing controls bug me as well, I find that the cars spend majority of their time in the side of the road crossing onto the grass instead of in the middle of the road.

I also didn't like the level designs, they were supposedly different but I found myself thinking I hadn't changed tracks because of the racing mechanics. Personally this tops the worst games I've ever played just from how angry I got from playing it. And I've played some pretty abysmal games.

[ORWELL6]

MySims Kingdom.
Don't.
Ever.
Get Me.
Started.
On MySims Kingdom.

[Mass Distraction]

So. What about MySims Kingdom?

[supersquid64]

MySims Kingdom.
Don't.
Ever.
Get Me.
Started.
On MySims Kingdom.

Oh man you reminded me of MySims, a game that equals the poorness of Sonic Drift. It's just I'd tried to forget it! :P

[Klonoa]

My vote would have to be for Sonic Drift. As someone who isn't that keen on the Sonic franchise this made my skin boil whenever I played it, even as a joke.

The concept annoys me about it and the racing controls bug me as well, I find that the cars spend majority of their time in the side of the road crossing onto the grass instead of in the middle of the road.

I also didn't like the level designs, they were supposedly different but I found myself thinking I hadn't changed tracks because of the racing mechanics. Personally this tops the worst games I've ever played just from how angry I got from playing it. And I've played some pretty abysmal games.

I have actually have had the displeasure of playing Sonic Free Riders. It manages to take Sonic Drift and beat it with even worse controls, to the point where even the menus are unplayable.

If the crappiness is due to the Kinect, or due to the developers, is something up to debate really...

[Raiden Blackwood]

Warlock for the Super Nintendo. I cringe just thinking about it.