Here's a joke review I did for Rouge Legacy when my friend asked me what I thought of the game. Just so you know, I actually love the game.
Rouge Legacy is a game about a guy name rouge and his legacy. The goal of the game is to get a bunch of money, then die, just like real life. This game is hard to describe, but I'll do my best. Rouge Legacy is like Binding of Issac, Super Metroid, Castlevania, Duck Tales and my ex girlfriend Cindy all got together and had massive orgy, even after I told Cindy that she better not sleep around AGAIN AFTER F*CKING MY BEST FRIEND STEVEN AND STEALING MY REFRIGERATOR.
No really, Rouge Legacy is the greatest castle building simulator of 2013, it deserves a solid 8/10 from IGN.
The enemies are some of the most original I've seen in years, including a Skeleton, a knight, a knight with a big ax, and giant eyeballs.
The gameplay consists of intense boss fight FUCK! --
The gameplay consist of intense boss fights of giant eyeballs and shit.
After you die seventeen times, you asexually reproduce children with horifying birth defects.
Then these children get all of your crap, including your giant castle, and they decide to kill themselves during their midlife crisis and die stabbing some floating eyeballs.
You also run into many colofull characters in your adventures, like this guy who makes stuff, this lady who magicks stuff, and this asshole you're never going to use.
You can also run into this offensive dark-elf stereotype who scams you out of your hard earned coins like the filthy drow he is.
If you find the lens of truth, this boss fight becomes absurdly easy though, so don't worry.
If you're a masochist, then Rouge Legacy gets Arjahn's approved cardboard box out of four.
But if you have any sense of human decency, then this game gets a diet coke can with a shriveled up dead rat inside out of my definition of monogamy DAMMIT CINDY YOU F*CKING WHORE!
Nailed it right on the head, nice review.
Rouge Legacy is a game about a guy name rouge and his legacy. The goal of the game is to get a bunch of money, then die, just like real life. This game is hard to describe, but I'll do my best. Rouge Legacy is like Binding of Issac, Super Metroid, Castlevania, Duck Tales and my ex girlfriend Cindy all got together and had massive orgy, even after I told Cindy that she better not sleep around AGAIN AFTER F*CKING MY BEST FRIEND STEVEN AND STEALING MY REFRIGERATOR.
No really, Rouge Legacy is the greatest castle building simulator of 2013, it deserves a solid 8/10 from IGN.
The enemies are some of the most original I've seen in years, including a Skeleton, a knight, a knight with a big ax, and giant eyeballs.
The gameplay consists of intense boss fight FUCK! --
The gameplay consist of intense boss fights of giant eyeballs and shit.
After you die seventeen times, you asexually reproduce children with horifying birth defects.
Then these children get all of your crap, including your giant castle, and they decide to kill themselves during their midlife crisis and die stabbing some floating eyeballs.
You also run into many colofull characters in your adventures, like this guy who makes stuff, this lady who magicks stuff, and this asshole you're never going to use.
You can also run into this offensive dark-elf stereotype who scams you out of your hard earned coins like the filthy drow he is.
If you find the lens of truth, this boss fight becomes absurdly easy though, so don't worry.
If you're a masochist, then Rouge Legacy gets Arjahn's approved cardboard box out of four.
But if you have any sense of human decency, then this game gets a diet coke can with a shriveled up dead rat inside out of my definition of monogamy DAMMIT CINDY YOU F*CKING WHORE!
(06-29-2013, 02:14 PM)DokemonStudios Wrote: This is a review I've posted on another forum that I decided to bring here.
Well, I can sum it up like this. Nintendo, if you wanted to make a Mario platformer for consoles, make one. Don't put it in a spin off that has a different focus.
Nailed it right on the head, nice review.