07-22-2013, 10:37 PM
Little did PsychoSpaceCow, know however, what Petie was still doing. That the tomb, the memorial was all a fake. After all, one hundred years had passed since the founders rose. Nobody may have known exactly what happened to them all, but Petie would be well over 150 years old now, as he was the oldest, most wise of the founders.
But, that was not the case. Petie stood straight up right, a living relic, a monument of awesomeness. He was the last one still living. His mechanical heart beat firm under the plyo-skin... Man, this stuff looked really real. It was so much better than the first batch they had made for him, 30 years ago. Petie's massive brain power was still his greatest strength. But, he needed new designs for this body of his if he wanted to remain so active and keep running triathlons under the pseudonym of Jorge Tobias.
Underneath, down in the sewers, the yellow eyes lurched forward into life, like a first time lover being jerky in his movements as he tried to figure out what in the world he should do in the bedroom. Jirayia and SERIOUSLY stood up, as if ready to tackle the beast. Raiden did his best to look menacingly at it and flip it the bird.
The beast was nothing more than a robot, only a measly 10 feet high, with several dozen drills, saws, and other things popping out in all sorts of random places.
"Aw man, all it is a giant can! I'll bust it up like a good neighbor, don't want any payment for the fruits of my hard labor!" SERIOUSLY THOUGH was still speaking in rhyme, which actually, makes one appear more Seuss like than assassin-esque.
A radio speaker blared to life out of the machine.
"Jirayia, SERIOUSLY and Raiden. How awfully kind of you to join me today. I hope that this transaction will go as smoothly as possible for all involved. I want you all still alive at the end of this..."
Raiden pulled a magnum out of his pocket, heaving his body like a walrus that swimming gracefully one moment then suddenly wound up on dry ground when a submarine surfaced underneath it. "WHO are YOU, and WHAT do you want from US?"
"Ahhhhhhh, it's none other than your GOD, YOUR FOUNDER. I am the one and only Petie!"
Jiariaya laughed. "Aren't you a little old to be chasing us pups around? Whaddya want?"
A view screen popped out of the monster's chest. An incredibly, amazingly handsome man's face with flowing golden brown hair was on, with a scared assistant trembling behind him.
"Ah well, I guess it's hard to believe I am so old. This synthetic skin is getting better every day. I look BEAUTIFUL. But, I have a slight issue. I am indeed 150 years old, but I want to be made EVEN better. And that's where you all come in..."
Raiden set down his gun. "Ok, let me hear what you need from us. If it ain't too bad, I don't mind striking up a deal."
"Good good. You see, despite HOW stunning I am, I can no longer grow a beard. I just can't do it. I want your beard, Raiden. So it can forever illuminate my face. And Jirayia, I understand that your new leg is nearly invincible, just a Cuccos? My skin rips all the time now. I want your leg so I can build better skin. And oh, SERIOUSLY, there's this new fangled thing the kids do called rapping or tapping or fapping or something like that, but understand you need to rhyme to do it. I want to prove to them whippersnappers I still got it, and if I lay down some great beats and some good lines, I can do it. I was hoping to extract your brain out and compliment it to mine. Oh, we'll make a great team. And retrolinx even made me a new, synthetic brain we can replace your old one with! What do you guys all say? I can trade you guys for a new motorcycle and putting the bridge back in... Do we have a deal?"
SERIOUSLY began to shriek. "HERE, I THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS LEGIT. ALL HE REALLY IS UNFIT. NOW LISTEN HERE, YOU BALL OF LARD! I'LL BEAT YOUR HEAD SO YOU GO FULL TARD! YOU MAY SEE YOURSELF AS SOME NEW AGE WIZARD, BUT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND MY BLIZZARD!"
And with that, the machine charged forward. But, in no short amount of time, Jiraiya shot a flare at the ship. A saw came flying off, knocking a hole in the wall out of the sewers to freedom. Using his trusty hookshot/sword arm, Jiraiya quickly swung to the outside world, carrying Raiden in his other hand. SERIOUSLY grabbed onto his pants, and thanks to the fact that Jiraiya likes to dress nice and wear a good belt, they didn't come off, and all three made it out.
Petie slammed down his fist on his console.
Retrolinx stepped forward. "Sir, I do think they have escaped from us."
"You don't think I haven't seen that? Maybe, with my influence, I will be able to convince the Cuccos to join my side. After all, who doesn't trust a founder? After we crush these fools, I will use my superior intelligence to overthrow her and re-establish myself as the true ruler. But, for now, we must wait."
Ok sir, but please, BEWARE OF CUCCOS.
But, that was not the case. Petie stood straight up right, a living relic, a monument of awesomeness. He was the last one still living. His mechanical heart beat firm under the plyo-skin... Man, this stuff looked really real. It was so much better than the first batch they had made for him, 30 years ago. Petie's massive brain power was still his greatest strength. But, he needed new designs for this body of his if he wanted to remain so active and keep running triathlons under the pseudonym of Jorge Tobias.
Underneath, down in the sewers, the yellow eyes lurched forward into life, like a first time lover being jerky in his movements as he tried to figure out what in the world he should do in the bedroom. Jirayia and SERIOUSLY stood up, as if ready to tackle the beast. Raiden did his best to look menacingly at it and flip it the bird.
The beast was nothing more than a robot, only a measly 10 feet high, with several dozen drills, saws, and other things popping out in all sorts of random places.
"Aw man, all it is a giant can! I'll bust it up like a good neighbor, don't want any payment for the fruits of my hard labor!" SERIOUSLY THOUGH was still speaking in rhyme, which actually, makes one appear more Seuss like than assassin-esque.
A radio speaker blared to life out of the machine.
"Jirayia, SERIOUSLY and Raiden. How awfully kind of you to join me today. I hope that this transaction will go as smoothly as possible for all involved. I want you all still alive at the end of this..."
Raiden pulled a magnum out of his pocket, heaving his body like a walrus that swimming gracefully one moment then suddenly wound up on dry ground when a submarine surfaced underneath it. "WHO are YOU, and WHAT do you want from US?"
"Ahhhhhhh, it's none other than your GOD, YOUR FOUNDER. I am the one and only Petie!"
Jiariaya laughed. "Aren't you a little old to be chasing us pups around? Whaddya want?"
A view screen popped out of the monster's chest. An incredibly, amazingly handsome man's face with flowing golden brown hair was on, with a scared assistant trembling behind him.
"Ah well, I guess it's hard to believe I am so old. This synthetic skin is getting better every day. I look BEAUTIFUL. But, I have a slight issue. I am indeed 150 years old, but I want to be made EVEN better. And that's where you all come in..."
Raiden set down his gun. "Ok, let me hear what you need from us. If it ain't too bad, I don't mind striking up a deal."
"Good good. You see, despite HOW stunning I am, I can no longer grow a beard. I just can't do it. I want your beard, Raiden. So it can forever illuminate my face. And Jirayia, I understand that your new leg is nearly invincible, just a Cuccos? My skin rips all the time now. I want your leg so I can build better skin. And oh, SERIOUSLY, there's this new fangled thing the kids do called rapping or tapping or fapping or something like that, but understand you need to rhyme to do it. I want to prove to them whippersnappers I still got it, and if I lay down some great beats and some good lines, I can do it. I was hoping to extract your brain out and compliment it to mine. Oh, we'll make a great team. And retrolinx even made me a new, synthetic brain we can replace your old one with! What do you guys all say? I can trade you guys for a new motorcycle and putting the bridge back in... Do we have a deal?"
SERIOUSLY began to shriek. "HERE, I THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS LEGIT. ALL HE REALLY IS UNFIT. NOW LISTEN HERE, YOU BALL OF LARD! I'LL BEAT YOUR HEAD SO YOU GO FULL TARD! YOU MAY SEE YOURSELF AS SOME NEW AGE WIZARD, BUT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND MY BLIZZARD!"
And with that, the machine charged forward. But, in no short amount of time, Jiraiya shot a flare at the ship. A saw came flying off, knocking a hole in the wall out of the sewers to freedom. Using his trusty hookshot/sword arm, Jiraiya quickly swung to the outside world, carrying Raiden in his other hand. SERIOUSLY grabbed onto his pants, and thanks to the fact that Jiraiya likes to dress nice and wear a good belt, they didn't come off, and all three made it out.
Petie slammed down his fist on his console.
Retrolinx stepped forward. "Sir, I do think they have escaped from us."
"You don't think I haven't seen that? Maybe, with my influence, I will be able to convince the Cuccos to join my side. After all, who doesn't trust a founder? After we crush these fools, I will use my superior intelligence to overthrow her and re-establish myself as the true ruler. But, for now, we must wait."
Ok sir, but please, BEWARE OF CUCCOS.