The Chit-Chat Thread v3: Electric Potpourri

[SERIOUSLY THOUGH*]

You're all so chit-chatty that we're now on Act III of our chit-chat production (Oscar nomintation pending).

Here's to another 100 pages of laughs, tears, and occasional meltdowns.

Rules for the thread :

1. All posts must be in haiku and written in a Scottish accent.
   
2. No post may use a word used by a previous post.
   
3. All posts must mention the sweet nectar Mountain Dew, because Mountain Dew is life (they have my address send help)
   
4. The letter 'e' is only permitted on days that rythme with Monday. 
   
5. Automatic bans to those who speak ill of our saviour in liquid form, Mountain Dewritos.