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Official "Beware of Cuccos" Lore Thread
#32
(Please for the sake of plot tell me that you're not serious about the AK-47 leg)
Oh, and for future reference, parts in italics are editors notes not to be taken as part of the actual story. Also, language follows, so MAN UP YA LITTLE BASTARD. Also, I'm exaggerating everything and making crap up for the sake of the plot, don't be offended by anything you read, I still love you all.
Except for Xannidel, screw that guy, amirite?

ALSO, and this is official forum canon, SERIOUSLY THOUGH can only talk in rhymes.


SERIOUSLY THOUGH was enjoying a nice year-old cup of tea he had found on the ground when Raiden Blackwood smashed through his beloved doorway. "That was my favorite door you treacherous whore." he said, followed by a cliche yet nonetheless bad ass chair swivel to face his new guest.
After the Zombie Riot incident occurred, SERIOUSLY had not gotten off as easily as the rest. You see, Zombie Riot wasn't usually too evil, he used to be a respected moderator back in the glory days of VGFacts and even in the ancient times of the elder forum. He was part of a triad, Zombie Riot, SERIOUSLY THOUGH and BumblebeeCody, moderators of the land, their jobs were to keep order and tranquility in the forums. The problem with order is that too much can drive a man out of order, into the cold, child molesting hands of insanity.
Zombie had snapped, lashing out viciously and causing massive rifts between other users and himself. Cody, SERIOUSLY's friend and ally, tried to stop it, but Zombie just ended up driving him insane. SERIOUSLY THOUGH himself barely made it out of the rampage alive, his body gave out after it had taken too much damage. At that point, the only thing he could think about was the good old days, when he talked about trivia with his friends and had a small Asian child take off sunglasses over dramatically. That single happy thought kept him going, he crawled as miserably and painfully as anyone has ever crawled to the nearest forum machine and posted an S.O.S. That's when the new moderators came into the picture.
After everything had blown over, Hexadecimal and Beware of Cuccos were the new kids on the street, and everyone was focusing on them, even going to lengths to post fake stories of their heroic exploits (SHIT THAT'S META). SERIOUSLY's broken body had recovered after a while, and he had gotten out of the hospital a few days after the Beardy hit. He had a roommate in there, but apparently his mouth and lower jaw had been ravaged by some monster or something, so there wasn't much discussion on that front.
Now he sat in his moderator's chair in the ruins of the Locked section of the Elder Forum, or as it was known in its time, the Did You Know Gaming forums. After everything and everyone had been converted to VGFacts, this old place died out and was eventually shut down. He had come here to see if he could find any remnants of the old days, all he had managed to pick up so far was the original thread, the Locked thread wherein one user posted "First" and was promptly shunned by the entire population, his name lost, a relic of ages past. The only other thing he saw was the doorway, and now even that was gone, just like everyone he ever loved.
"Dammit man, knock that rhyming shit off! We gotta get you to safety!" Raiden said, he was a tall man with a dark, luxurious beard. It's rumored that if his beard is destroyed, so is his life force. "Who would want me, as decrepit as I be?" SERIOUSLY responded, only muttering quietly in forced rhymes. "SHE would want you, and she would want your head on a fucking stick, so let's move!" he replied, his nervousness was apparent from his worried facial expression and the puddle underneath him that wasn't there when he came in.

"Who is this SHE, and why might she want me?" SERIOUSLY replied, his swollen face darkening with each syllable. "The old lady with the chickens, she's going mad man, after the Beardy hit she just started killing everyone. Berry's out, Jiraiya showed up in an alleyway without even a fucking mouth left, and now she's coming for you." he said, now holding his pistol to the door, waiting for someone to try to sneak in. "How do you know FohShnickity Mo?" SERIOUSLY questioned, slowly meandering towards the door. "DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST USE FOUR-TIME GRAMMY WINNING ARTIST FOHSHNICKITY IN YOUR FORCED FUCKING RHYME? Dammit man, I've got a guy working with Lightmatt, and he says that SHE came by asking for information on you, now I'll answer your questions later, let's move!"
And with that, they left the old forum for one last time. Scanning the sky as the walked out, Raiden let out a sigh of relief. "Good, that old bag hasn't found us yet, we gotta get to safety." he said, pulling up his motorized tricycle and sitting SERIOUSLY THOUGH in the sidecar with a majestic sky dolphin painted on it. As they pulled out, one very specific Cucco watched them, perched atop the Clocktower. "It's nearly time." he said, apparently to himself.
"Activate the countdown."

[Image: tumblr_mett49XNrL1qjy56x.png]

Also, I'm gonna reserve the character of Cody for future reference if ya'll don't mind.
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Messages In This Thread
[TEMP] Beware of Cuccos Posts - by Arjahn - 06-25-2013, 03:32 PM
RE: Official "Beware of Cuccos" Lore Thread - by Arjahn - 06-28-2013, 01:02 AM
RE: The Chit-Chat Thread - by JiraiyaSennin - 06-25-2013, 03:36 PM
RE: The Chit-Chat Thread - by Petie - 06-25-2013, 04:03 PM
RE: The Chit-Chat Thread - by Beware of Cuccos - 06-25-2013, 04:08 PM
RE: The Chit-Chat Thread - by CosmykTheDolfyn - 06-25-2013, 04:14 PM
[split] How old are you? - by CosmykTheDolfyn - 06-25-2013, 05:53 PM
RE: How old are you? - by cingchris - 06-25-2013, 05:57 PM
RE: How old are you? - by JiraiyaSennin - 06-25-2013, 06:01 PM

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