Ugh. Ok. I'm trying my hardest to put my thoughts into words, but it isn't working out so well. But I'll give it a shot anyway..
Shit shit shit. I knew it was coming. I knew it. I "prepared" for it the best I could. I imagined each and every character in the lineup getting Lucille'd and life going on without them. I've done that since last seasons finale to try and make it easier for the premier. Well, my friends, it did not work. I feel numb. I feel sad. I feel angry. I feel unsatisfied. As a fan, I have conflicting feelings about the episode. Let's start with the sad and work our way out.
My guess was Abraham. My second was Glenn. And god damn it, I was right. Twice. I didn't want to be.
I thought Abraham went out like a badass. He held his ground and never bowed to Negan. Negan was unable to own him. Abraham is untouched by Negan in my eyes (aside from the obvious). His last words were very much him, and he even got the chance to throw Sasha a peace sign (which was their thing).
Glenn's death, however, has me conflicted. Close to the beginning of the season, most of us had at some point or another seen some spoilers on this one, whether or not intentional. I try to feel ok about it knowing he went out surrounded by family. His dying words were perfect for him as well. I mostly knew it was coming. What doesn't sit right with me was how it occurred.
I don't like the writers throwing Daryl under the bus like that. Kirkman has said himself that he HATES Daryl's fans and would kill Daryl off just because of that. Well, this is much worse. He took someone we love and made him cause something horrendous. Now, a chunk of the fans hate him, a chunk refuse to see he did any wrong, and now his character has to live (in Negan's community, mind you) with what he caused. A fellow fan mentioned that they couldn't kill Daryl off because he is the fan favorite and AMC would never sign off on that, and I can see that. Well, Kirkman was able to make it even worse than that. I don't feel his actions were fitting for his character. Daryl is smarter than that. If anyone were to jump out, I fell it should have been Carl, and even then I think Carl is smarter than that at this point. I think if they would have done it the way they did in the comics it would have been easier to take. In my opinion, this was a cheap shot at Daryl's character and the Daryl fans. (Please note: I am not trying to justify Daryl's actions from the episode. I just don't feel it was believable.)
I understand the writers reeeally want us, as fans, to understand that Negan is now in charge. I get that. I feel like that would have been accomplished with one well done death (Abraham as-is, or Glenn but redone like the comic) plus Negan making Rick almost chop off Carl's arm. In my opinion, the double-Lucille and throwing Daryl under the bus was overboard, and not in a good- or forgivable- way.
On to Carl. His character has grown SO MUCH. I love it. He was so incredibly strong last night. I hope they keep him like this and don't make him a little shit again. I've very pleased with his courage form the premier.
I like that at the end, Sasha and Rosita seemed to be at some sort of an understanding.
I like that Maggie's first reaction after everything is said and done is to fight.
The special effects from the episode were SPOT FUCKING ON. As incredibly difficult as it was to see, the effects were hand picked out of the comics and put on our televisions.
THE ACTING. Every single actor in the episode- from the extras in the back, to Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Andrew Lincoln and everyone in-between- was fucking phenomenal. A+++ from each and every actor last night.
Stand outs include-
-JDM just being casual while murdering people.
-Steven Yeun post-Lucille'd, while gruesome, was amazing. The twitching and trying to speak was just amazing acting.
-Andrew Lincoln. HIS EYES. I believe anything his eyes say.
Random things-
-Maggie's family- Hershel, Beth, and Glenn- have all been murdered by humans.
-I'm pretty sure in the image of everyone sitting down to a nice meal, there was spaghetti on the table. An obvious shout out to Hershel.
-On Talking Dead, I'm glad Steven said he WANTED to die at the hands of Lucille. He wanted to go out like the comics. That doesn't make me feel better about his death on the show, but makes me feel better for the actor and eases the pain a teeny, tiny bit.
-It was incredibly important for me to hear from Chris Hardwick that my feelings (and all of our feelings), no matter what they are, about last nights episode are valid. He truly understands what it means to be a superfan of the show and I wouldn't have anyone else console me each week on Talking Dead.
So, overall, I can't pinpoint a feeling about the episode. I wasn't jumping on the couch with anger, excitement, fear, anything. I'm just kind of here.