Official "Beware of Cuccos" Lore Thread

[CosmykTheDolfyn]

Yeah Yeah, I guess I should sit down and write something this afternoon later...

[Psychospacecow]

Dammit this thread is sort of dying out.
I WILL SAVE IT
I WILL FIND HIM
RAWRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH




Oh yeah, didn't we used to have a forum RP? This stuff would be fawking perfect for something like that.

An RP might be fun.

---

Yeah Yeah, I guess I should sit down and write something this afternoon later...

Sorry man, I think I made it hard on ya with my last one.

[Beware of Cuccos*]

Come on guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys.

[Arjahn]

Come on guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys.

Well Excusssssssssssssssssse me Princess.













































































































































































Please don't hurt me.

[Beware of Cuccos*]

YOU



ARE



DOOMED.

[Psychospacecow]

As it turns out, despite being an ever powerful space fairing bovine, Psycho did not have thumbs so as to allow him to hold onto Cuccos. I guess being psychotic makes you forget about hooves don't it? Still, he continued to grapple at Cuccos, following her where she went without much success, folllowing her to the great archive to Human appearance, http://www.vgfacts.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=22. "Cuccos, this isn't going to end well, and you know it," Psycho uttered as they entered. He was starting to feel more like one of the Legend of Zelda fairies then anything else. "Listen here, Psycho. If this chaos is going to end, I've got to know who sits as the root," Cucs coughed, having lost her voice with hours of restless conversation with Cow. Going down the great marble halls of the holy to human archives, she turned to the tomb of the founders, Diyuknga, Petie, ODazzius and Robiacus.

[Petie]

Going down the great marble halls of the holy to human archives, she turned to the tomb of the founders, Diyuknga, Petie, and Robiacus.

Wait a second! How am I dead?! And who is it that's dead with me?! Something isn't adding up here...

[Ghost Nappa]

Going down the great marble halls of the holy to human archives, she turned to the tomb of the founders, Diyuknga, Petie, and Robiacus.

Wait a second! How am I dead?! And who is it that's dead with me?! Something isn't adding up here...

I think Diyuknga Is DidYouKnowGaming and Robiacus is Rob.

[Psychospacecow]

Going down the great marble halls of the holy to human archives, she turned to the tomb of the founders, Diyuknga, Petie, and Robiacus.

Wait a second! How am I dead?! And who is it that's dead with me?! Something isn't adding up here...

Its a museum. Everything is an exhibit. Maybe tomb isn't the best word but I couldn't think of another one at the time. I guess a better word would be memorial or honoring. You're not dead. You're just immortalized regardless of life status.

---

Going down the great marble halls of the holy to human archives, she turned to the tomb of the founders, Diyuknga, Petie, and Robiacus.

Wait a second! How am I dead?! And who is it that's dead with me?! Something isn't adding up here...

I think Diyuknga Is DidYouKnowGaming and Robiacus is Rob.

Yes. I just wanted to change the names a bit to fit the museum thing.

[Petie]

Wait a second! How am I dead?! And who is it that's dead with me?! Something isn't adding up here...

Its a museum. Everything is an exhibit. Maybe tomb isn't the best word but I couldn't think of another one at the time. I guess a better word would be memorial or honoring. You're not dead. You're just immortalized regardless of life status.

---

Yes. I just wanted to change the names a bit to fit the museum thing.

Okay, cool. Glad to see that my greatness is being properly recognized then ;)

And that's who I figured they were but I wasn't sure, especially since the third founder is actually Dazz :P

[Psychospacecow]

Oh, well then I guess it'd be 4 founders. Didn't mean to overlook anyone. Just knew DYKG was original site I was on, Petie was head here, Rob did magic servery stuff. Is Dazz head of Spriter's? (My mistake everybody)

[Petie]

Dazz does indeed own and run The Spriters Resource (and the rest of its affiliated sites). And it's not a big deal - in case it wasn't immediately obvious, I was only joking when I brought it up anyway.

[CosmykTheDolfyn]

Little did PsychoSpaceCow, know however, what Petie was still doing. That the tomb, the memorial was all a fake. After all, one hundred years had passed since the founders rose. Nobody may have known exactly what happened to them all, but Petie would be well over 150 years old now, as he was the oldest, most wise of the founders.

But, that was not the case. Petie stood straight up right, a living relic, a monument of awesomeness. He was the last one still living. His mechanical heart beat firm under the plyo-skin... Man, this stuff looked really real. It was so much better than the first batch they had made for him, 30 years ago. Petie's massive brain power was still his greatest strength. But, he needed new designs for this body of his if he wanted to remain so active and keep running triathlons under the pseudonym of Jorge Tobias.

Underneath, down in the sewers, the yellow eyes lurched forward into life, like a first time lover being jerky in his movements as he tried to figure out what in the world he should do in the bedroom. Jirayia and SERIOUSLY stood up, as if ready to tackle the beast. Raiden did his best to look menacingly at it and flip it the bird.

The beast was nothing more than a robot, only a measly 10 feet high, with several dozen drills, saws, and other things popping out in all sorts of random places.

"Aw man, all it is a giant can! I'll bust it up like a good neighbor, don't want any payment for the fruits of my hard labor!" SERIOUSLY THOUGH was still speaking in rhyme, which actually, makes one appear more Seuss like than assassin-esque.

A radio speaker blared to life out of the machine.
"Jirayia, SERIOUSLY and Raiden. How awfully kind of you to join me today. I hope that this transaction will go as smoothly as possible for all involved. I want you all still alive at the end of this..."

Raiden pulled a magnum out of his pocket, heaving his body like a walrus that swimming gracefully one moment then suddenly wound up on dry ground when a submarine surfaced underneath it. "WHO are YOU, and WHAT do you want from US?"

"Ahhhhhhh, it's none other than your GOD, YOUR FOUNDER. I am the one and only Petie!"

Jiariaya laughed. "Aren't you a little old to be chasing us pups around? Whaddya want?"

A view screen popped out of the monster's chest. An incredibly, amazingly handsome man's face with flowing golden brown hair was on, with a scared assistant trembling behind him.
"Ah well, I guess it's hard to believe I am so old. This synthetic skin is getting better every day. I look BEAUTIFUL. But, I have a slight issue. I am indeed 150 years old, but I want to be made EVEN better. And that's where you all come in..."

Raiden set down his gun. "Ok, let me hear what you need from us. If it ain't too bad, I don't mind striking up a deal."

"Good good. You see, despite HOW stunning I am, I can no longer grow a beard. I just can't do it. I want your beard, Raiden. So it can forever illuminate my face. And Jirayia, I understand that your new leg is nearly invincible, just a Cuccos? My skin rips all the time now. I want your leg so I can build better skin. And oh, SERIOUSLY, there's this new fangled thing the kids do called rapping or tapping or fapping or something like that, but understand you need to rhyme to do it. I want to prove to them whippersnappers I still got it, and if I lay down some great beats and some good lines, I can do it. I was hoping to extract your brain out and compliment it to mine. Oh, we'll make a great team. And retrolinx even made me a new, synthetic brain we can replace your old one with! What do you guys all say? I can trade you guys for a new motorcycle and putting the bridge back in... Do we have a deal?"

SERIOUSLY began to shriek. "HERE, I THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS LEGIT. ALL HE REALLY IS UNFIT. NOW LISTEN HERE, YOU BALL OF LARD! I'LL BEAT YOUR HEAD SO YOU GO FULL TARD! YOU MAY SEE YOURSELF AS SOME NEW AGE WIZARD, BUT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND MY BLIZZARD!"

And with that, the machine charged forward. But, in no short amount of time, Jiraiya shot a flare at the ship. A saw came flying off, knocking a hole in the wall out of the sewers to freedom. Using his trusty hookshot/sword arm, Jiraiya quickly swung to the outside world, carrying Raiden in his other hand. SERIOUSLY grabbed onto his pants, and thanks to the fact that Jiraiya likes to dress nice and wear a good belt, they didn't come off, and all three made it out.

Petie slammed down his fist on his console.
Retrolinx stepped forward. "Sir, I do think they have escaped from us."
"You don't think I haven't seen that? Maybe, with my influence, I will be able to convince the Cuccos to join my side. After all, who doesn't trust a founder? After we crush these fools, I will use my superior intelligence to overthrow her and re-establish myself as the true ruler. But, for now, we must wait."

Ok sir, but please, BEWARE OF CUCCOS.

[Psychospacecow]

Dazz does indeed own and run The Spriters Resource (and the rest of its affiliated sites). And it's not a big deal - in case it wasn't immediately obvious, I was only joking when I brought it up anyway.

Yeah, but I didn't want to leave anyone out. I'm not good with jokes w/o vocalization.

---

"You know what interests me the most about these places Cuccos?" Psy spat looking back as he examined a painting of Petie the wise. She didn't respond, and to be fair, they were both somewhat sick of each other, with Cow going on and on, and Cuccos still being evil. "Whenever they do these portraits and write these articles, no one quite gets it right. I've been around a long time, saw the days when this place's foundations were set, by old Diyuknga in fact. Petie and his tribe took to the foundation and agreed with Ol' Diyu for a portion of the territory, a merger of cultures they called it. Didn't much see Diyu much anymore though he still appeared from time to time, he always seemed rather, lonely I guess you could say. I can't much blame him really, it wasn't his show anymore. See, I mention this, because at the time, Petie tried to unify things, bring order, had some insane virtue to preserve time as it stood, probably from fear of death. It didn't end well. That's why -" ... In the time he explained an example of history repeating itself, Cuccos had walked off on her own. He just shook his head and gazed into that picture, looking behind Petie's shoulder. "I guess these people just don't listen very well," he murmered to himself. "Tell me about it," came a familiar voice, a ghost from the past.

[Psychospacecow]

(queue Nappa to the writer's stand please)