11-10-2014, 07:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-10-2014, 07:59 PM by SERIOUSLY THOUGH.)
(11-10-2014, 06:41 PM)retrolinkx Wrote: Thank you Seriously. You have helped quite a bit with this.
This is the first draft, so please tell me everything that is wrong about it and good about it.
I do want to study computer science and get into the video game industry, and I hope I have sent that across. I just hope that I've included enough. From what I've seen online, I should be talking about job experiences (I've never had a job) and should be talking about hundreds of other skills I do not have.
I don't have enough space to add a "I can't wait to learn university Computer Science" or whatever at the end, so if there is anything that shouldn't be there, or sounds wrong. Do tell me.I want to take Computer Science at a University Level because I have always loved computers and technology. I have always found technology to be interesting and I have wanted to be a part of making it even better for around 10 years now. I am astounded by how far technology has advanced, how Phones can do the things computers had trouble doing 15 years ago and how the internet is used for helping people with their day to day lives I hope to one day be able to be part of the video game industry as video games have always been of interest for me from both a technological standpoint and as a hobby.
Computer Science interest me because I think that in the future it will be a valuable skill to have for everyday life. Even today, technology is a very useful tool in our lives and I want to be a part of improving that. I want to be able to spearhead a new generation of technology in any way possible. I want to be able to create and work with technology that people would want and need. When I finish this course I hope that I will be able to understand computers and technology a lot more, and hopefully be able to find a job in the video game industry early on.
I believe I am fit for the course for many different reasons. For one I enjoy using computers and have always had an interest in them. My A-Levels have helped me too. ICT has taught me many ways to use different advanced programs on computers, the inside workings of computers, and has helped me to understand the business side of the computing industry. Economics has also helped me to understand the economical impact of technology and how it has improved over the years. I have also written an EPQ about violence in video games something that I feel strongly about. I researched many different articles and studies about violent video games and compiled them together into a 5000 word essay, along with a presentation. The EPQ has helped me to understand what kind of studying I will do at University, the problems that occurred and the things I did wrong so that I will not do these problems when I finally start university.
From working on these courses I have picked up useful skills that will help me in University and in the field of work I want to go into. I work well very well and efficiently. Being able to finish large pieces of work and writing in under a day, I am also very good at working independently and can grasp concepts very quickly. I also have good problem solving skills and have been told I'm a good listener. I have read different news articles about computer science and the video game industry, including but not limited to; How Video games are created, the basics behind programming and the basics behind computer science at universities along with coding programs such as C++. I understand that computer science is a lengthy course at university level and requires a critical and focused mind to be able to keep up with the information, workload and reading.
Outside of the classroom I have gone through some articles about computer science and technology. I have looked at how technology in different countries have failed to become successful and the reasoning behind that on a business standpoint. I have also looked into the different types of jobs a video game employee would undertake whether they program code on computers or design the gameplay through other means. I have attended a lecture on how technology and the internet were used to make the presidential campaign in 2008 successful. I have listened to radio programmes about the video game industry, the discussions of how technology has changed the world in recent years and some computer science related programmes.
Outside of my school life, I play video games and research them. I keep up to date with the latest news that interests me and I have also created add-ons for some video games, I practice drawing whenever I can and have played several musical instruments in my life including Piano, Guitar and Violin.
![[+]](images/collapse_collapsed.png "[+]")
SpoilerOh UCAS, still imposing that 4,000 character limit.
This first draft already sounds strong, you're definitely going in the right direction.
I've made some changes, feel free to ask me any question you want.
I want wish (softened the 'want' to 'wish') to take Computer Science at the postsecondary level because as (just to save characters) I have always loved computers and technology. I have always had an interest in found technology to be interesting and I have wanted to be a part of making it even better for just as longaround 10 years now. I am astounded by how far technology has advanced, how Pphones can do process (trying to use a stronger verb that's closer to technology) what the things computers had trouble doing 15 years ago and how the internet is used for helpsing people with their daily to day lives. vVideo games have always long (to avoid repeating "always") been a passion (now we're onto video games; hit them with passion) of interest for me from both a technological standpoint and as a hobby (flipped ithe sentence so that your interest leads into your desired job), I hope to one day be able to workbe part of in the video game industry as video games have always been of interest for me from both a technological standpoint and as a hobby.
I seek to pursue Computer Science interest me because as I think that in the future it will be a valuable skill to have for everyday life in future (I just cut some stuff down as you said you wanted more space. I also removed the "I think" so that you make a more assertive statement). Even today, technology is a very useful tool in our lives and that I would want to help be a part of improveing that. I want to be able to spearhead a new generation of technologicaly progress (not necessary change, but sounds good if you have space) in any way possible. I want to be able to create and work with technology that people would both desirewant (just to use a verb other than 'want', a thesaurus is v. useful for this kind of thing) and need. Upon When I finishing this course, I hope to better that I will be able to understand computers and technology a lot more (I put 'better' rather than 'a lot more', you want to sound like the master of all things technological), and hopefully be able to find a job in the video game industry early on.
I believe I am fit for yourthe(to directly engage the reader) course for many different reasons. For one(can be removed if you need more space), I enjoy using computers and have always had an interest in them(you've already said this, so feel free to delete if you need space, you could also say "as I said, etc etc"). My A-Levels have also helped me too. -- ICT has taught me many ways in which to use different advanced programs on computers, understand the innerside workings of computers, and has helped me to familiarise myself with understand the business side of the computing industry. Economics has also helped me to understand the economical ("economic", to do with the economy. "eonomical", cheap) impact of technology and how it (the tech, or the economic impact?) has improved over the years. I have also written an EPQ about violence in video games, a subject something that I feel strongly about. I researched many different articles and studies about violent video games and compiled them together into a 5000 word essay and, along with a presentation. The EPQ has helped me to understand what kind of research (because being enthusiastic about studying is expected, but being enthusiastic about research hits hard) studying I will be expected to carry out do at University, the problems that may aroseoccurred and what the things I did wrong so that I can avoid themwill not do these problems when I finally start university. (I rewrote the sentence as a suggestion.)
The EPQ has helped identify the problems that arose and what I did wrong, so that I can avoid them in future. It also helped me better understand the kind of research (because being enthusiastic about studying is expected, but being enthusiastic about research hits hard) I will be expected to carry out at university
From working on Through these courses, I have picked up useful skills that will help me in University and in mythe chosen field of work I want to go into. I work well very well and efficiently (perhaps add a bit to make yourself stand out). Being able to finish large pieces of work and writing in a timely manner (to avoid saying "don't worry if I haven't started my dissertation yet) under a day, I am also very good at working independently (the introductory clause should be linked to the next statement -- "I can finish large xyz, and therefore I am independent". The current link doesn't make entire sense -- how finishing quickly makes you good at working independantly) and can rapidly grasp concepts very quickly. I have been told that Ialso am a have good problem solver solving skills and have been told I'm a good listener. I have read different countless news articles about computer science and the video game industry, including but not limited to; How Video games are created, the basics behind programming and the basics behind computer science at universities along with coding programs such as C++ (In this section, make explicit what is in quotes [titles], and what is the continuation of the sentence). I understand that computer science is a lengthy course at university level and requires a critical and focused mind to be able to keep up with the information, workload and reading (good, they now know you know that it's not going to be a piece of cake, but that you're well aware are ready).
Outside of the classroom, I have gone through some articles about computer science and technology (you've just said this). I have looked at how technology in different countries have failed to become successful and the reasoning behind that fromon a business standpoint. I have also familiarised myself withlooked into (to show the readers that you not only read about the different types of job, but that you actually know exactly what they are) the different types of tasksjobs a video game employee would undertake, whether they program code on computers or design the gameplay through other means. I have attended a (it may be useful to mention the organiser or venue) lecture on how technology and the internet were harnessedused to make the 2008 US presidential campaign in 2008 a successful. I regularlyhave listened (make it sound like it's a regular thing, not a one-off) to radio programmes about the video game industry, the discussions of how technology has changed the world in recent years and some computer science related programmes.
Outside of my school life, I enjoy (to make yourself sound human and not just an applicant) both playing and researching video games and research them. I keep up to date with the latest news that interests me (to save space) and I have also created add-ons for some video games., I practice drawing whenever I can and have played several musical instruments in my life including Piano, Guitar and Violin (It would be even better if you could say "I play several musical instruments". If they ask you at the interview if you play, and you haven't for a while, say that unfortunately, you've been concentrating on your studies and subjects related to your desired job[computer science]").
I seek to pursue Computer Science interest me because as I think that in the future it will be a valuable skill to have for everyday life in future (I just cut some stuff down as you said you wanted more space. I also removed the "I think" so that you make a more assertive statement). Even today, technology is a very useful tool in our lives and that I would want to help be a part of improveing that. I want to be able to spearhead a new generation of technologicaly progress (not necessary change, but sounds good if you have space) in any way possible. I want to be able to create and work with technology that people would both desirewant (just to use a verb other than 'want', a thesaurus is v. useful for this kind of thing) and need. Upon When I finishing this course, I hope to better that I will be able to understand computers and technology a lot more (I put 'better' rather than 'a lot more', you want to sound like the master of all things technological), and hopefully be able to find a job in the video game industry early on.
I believe I am fit for yourthe(to directly engage the reader) course for many different reasons. For one(can be removed if you need more space), I enjoy using computers and have always had an interest in them(you've already said this, so feel free to delete if you need space, you could also say "as I said, etc etc"). My A-Levels have also helped me too. -- ICT has taught me many ways in which to use different advanced programs on computers, understand the innerside workings of computers, and has helped me to familiarise myself with understand the business side of the computing industry. Economics has also helped me to understand the economical ("economic", to do with the economy. "eonomical", cheap) impact of technology and how it (the tech, or the economic impact?) has improved over the years. I have also written an EPQ about violence in video games, a subject something that I feel strongly about. I researched many different articles and studies about violent video games and compiled them together into a 5000 word essay and, along with a presentation. The EPQ has helped me to understand what kind of research (because being enthusiastic about studying is expected, but being enthusiastic about research hits hard) studying I will be expected to carry out do at University, the problems that may aroseoccurred and what the things I did wrong so that I can avoid themwill not do these problems when I finally start university. (I rewrote the sentence as a suggestion.)
The EPQ has helped identify the problems that arose and what I did wrong, so that I can avoid them in future. It also helped me better understand the kind of research (because being enthusiastic about studying is expected, but being enthusiastic about research hits hard) I will be expected to carry out at university
From working on Through these courses, I have picked up useful skills that will help me in University and in mythe chosen field of work I want to go into. I work well very well and efficiently (perhaps add a bit to make yourself stand out). Being able to finish large pieces of work and writing in a timely manner (to avoid saying "don't worry if I haven't started my dissertation yet) under a day, I am also very good at working independently (the introductory clause should be linked to the next statement -- "I can finish large xyz, and therefore I am independent". The current link doesn't make entire sense -- how finishing quickly makes you good at working independantly) and can rapidly grasp concepts very quickly. I have been told that Ialso am a have good problem solver solving skills and have been told I'm a good listener. I have read different countless news articles about computer science and the video game industry, including but not limited to; How Video games are created, the basics behind programming and the basics behind computer science at universities along with coding programs such as C++ (In this section, make explicit what is in quotes [titles], and what is the continuation of the sentence). I understand that computer science is a lengthy course at university level and requires a critical and focused mind to be able to keep up with the information, workload and reading (good, they now know you know that it's not going to be a piece of cake, but that you're well aware are ready).
Outside of the classroom, I have gone through some articles about computer science and technology (you've just said this). I have looked at how technology in different countries have failed to become successful and the reasoning behind that fromon a business standpoint. I have also familiarised myself withlooked into (to show the readers that you not only read about the different types of job, but that you actually know exactly what they are) the different types of tasksjobs a video game employee would undertake, whether they program code on computers or design the gameplay through other means. I have attended a (it may be useful to mention the organiser or venue) lecture on how technology and the internet were harnessedused to make the 2008 US presidential campaign in 2008 a successful. I regularlyhave listened (make it sound like it's a regular thing, not a one-off) to radio programmes about the video game industry, the discussions of how technology has changed the world in recent years and some computer science related programmes.
Outside of my school life, I enjoy (to make yourself sound human and not just an applicant) both playing and researching video games and research them. I keep up to date with the latest news that interests me (to save space) and I have also created add-ons for some video games., I practice drawing whenever I can and have played several musical instruments in my life including Piano, Guitar and Violin (It would be even better if you could say "I play several musical instruments". If they ask you at the interview if you play, and you haven't for a while, say that unfortunately, you've been concentrating on your studies and subjects related to your desired job[computer science]").