08-29-2014, 01:11 PM
So I started my Emerald Nuzlocke while the PC is serving community service, here's a snippet.
I get to the first gym with my horrible team of a low-level Mudkip, which I didn't train because I try to avoid using Starters at all costs, a level 13 Abra named Zuzu with ONLY TELEPORT because I hate myself, Po the Beutifly, who is far and away the hardest hitter on the team but nearly useless against a rock-type gym leader, Massdistraction the level 6 Slakoth who is worthless for obvious reasons, Echooooooo the Whismur who does whismur things, and finally Dots the Seedot who I traded my Ralts for in-game because I'm a smart person.
With this crack team of idiots, I prepare to take on the gym leader. I manage to easily take out both of her Geodudes with Mudkip's puny water gun, and now Nosepass enters stage right.
I switch into Massdistraction and fodder him off, because, seriously, f*ck that guy, he's useless unless I can get off a Yawn, which evidently I can not. He's one shotted and no tears were shed. Next I switch in Po, the legend the wonder to pretty butterfly, and go for a stun spore to help out the rest of my team. I decide to try and absorb his soul next, which does minimal damage, and Po is swiftly brought down by a quad-effective Rock Tomb. Now steeped in a puddle of butterfly tears, I send in Mudkip to do what little damage he can, while the long-nosed demon missed 3 consecutive Rock Tombs. Seizing my chance, I whittle the bastard into the yellow, one shot away from sending him back to hell, when this cheeky motherfucker decided to use a super potion.
At this point, all is lost if he lands even a single Rock Tomb, which has enough power to instantly murderlize my mudkip. I have to bend down and ask Arceus for a miracle here, annnnnnnd I don't get it, Mudkip joins Massdistraction in the useless section of hell while I'm still stuck in this stupid gym. Just to recap, at this point I'm facing a level 15 Nosepass at 3/4 health with a level 10 Whismur, an Abra with no moves, and a level 9 seedot with nothing but Bide. I'm screwed.
For some reason, I decide against switching the game off and crying in the corner, instead opting to watch this stupid Seedot (named Dots) writhe in agony. I send him in and, what else, go for a bide. Now Nosepass gets paralyzed for two turns while I store energy, why not? I try for a bide again, and one Rock Tomb brings little dots down to 6 HP. Not looking good, accepting his fate, Dots looks me in the eye and sheds one last tear for his fallen brothers. In that moment, the Poke'gods took pity on Dots, endowing him with the strength to pull this fight out of his ass. The relentless Nosepass hurts another boulder at the little man, and somehow, some way, it misses and breaks another trainer's leg.
Taking this chance to retaliate, Dots focuses all of his rage, all of the pain and suffering this fucking little scrub of a nosepicker has put he and his trainer through, and unleashes his Bide in a firestorm of vengeance and redemption.
ENDING NUMBER ONE!
ENDING NUMBER TWO! TWICE THE ENDING, SAME LOW PRICE!
I get to the first gym with my horrible team of a low-level Mudkip, which I didn't train because I try to avoid using Starters at all costs, a level 13 Abra named Zuzu with ONLY TELEPORT because I hate myself, Po the Beutifly, who is far and away the hardest hitter on the team but nearly useless against a rock-type gym leader, Massdistraction the level 6 Slakoth who is worthless for obvious reasons, Echooooooo the Whismur who does whismur things, and finally Dots the Seedot who I traded my Ralts for in-game because I'm a smart person.
With this crack team of idiots, I prepare to take on the gym leader. I manage to easily take out both of her Geodudes with Mudkip's puny water gun, and now Nosepass enters stage right.
I switch into Massdistraction and fodder him off, because, seriously, f*ck that guy, he's useless unless I can get off a Yawn, which evidently I can not. He's one shotted and no tears were shed. Next I switch in Po, the legend the wonder to pretty butterfly, and go for a stun spore to help out the rest of my team. I decide to try and absorb his soul next, which does minimal damage, and Po is swiftly brought down by a quad-effective Rock Tomb. Now steeped in a puddle of butterfly tears, I send in Mudkip to do what little damage he can, while the long-nosed demon missed 3 consecutive Rock Tombs. Seizing my chance, I whittle the bastard into the yellow, one shot away from sending him back to hell, when this cheeky motherfucker decided to use a super potion.
At this point, all is lost if he lands even a single Rock Tomb, which has enough power to instantly murderlize my mudkip. I have to bend down and ask Arceus for a miracle here, annnnnnnd I don't get it, Mudkip joins Massdistraction in the useless section of hell while I'm still stuck in this stupid gym. Just to recap, at this point I'm facing a level 15 Nosepass at 3/4 health with a level 10 Whismur, an Abra with no moves, and a level 9 seedot with nothing but Bide. I'm screwed.
For some reason, I decide against switching the game off and crying in the corner, instead opting to watch this stupid Seedot (named Dots) writhe in agony. I send him in and, what else, go for a bide. Now Nosepass gets paralyzed for two turns while I store energy, why not? I try for a bide again, and one Rock Tomb brings little dots down to 6 HP. Not looking good, accepting his fate, Dots looks me in the eye and sheds one last tear for his fallen brothers. In that moment, the Poke'gods took pity on Dots, endowing him with the strength to pull this fight out of his ass. The relentless Nosepass hurts another boulder at the little man, and somehow, some way, it misses and breaks another trainer's leg.
Taking this chance to retaliate, Dots focuses all of his rage, all of the pain and suffering this fucking little scrub of a nosepicker has put he and his trainer through, and unleashes his Bide in a firestorm of vengeance and redemption.
ARJAHN'S NEW CHOOSE YOUR ENDING!
ENDING NUMBER ONE!
ENDING NUMBER TWO! TWICE THE ENDING, SAME LOW PRICE!